by Glenn » Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:04 am
There was no attempt to bribe the raven. This wasn't just because he did not wish to betray Benedict. If there was something Burnie hated, it was going through the same process again. Oh, it was scientific, successful repetition. He simply couldn't manage it. It made it difficult to make new friends (one of his many difficulties). It was a distinct issue with Gloria Wynsee. With Finn, it had been over come through a certain sort of chicanery. "I know you can talk." It was all he said, but there was something demonstrative in the tone. He knew, and yet the bird was just going to perch there and stare. "If I didn't know, there'd be no harm to it. Since I know though, it's just rude."
Still, that was all.
Instead, he wrote.
Ainrid,
I do not wish to be part of your court. A wish, I think, is a distinct thing. A wish implies some sort of action. You make a wish. You have a wish. You wish upon a star or in a well or with clover in hand. You hold a wish secret and quiet within your heart. A want is instinctual. A wish is something more. I do not wish to be part of your court. Occasionally, I want it, but that is fleeting and foolish. It says far more about where I am and what I have lost and what resolve I might have left than anything about my place or yours. There I would be blind and mute. I should be outside the court's concern.
This court. Are you the court? Are you your role or something more? Did you say that Ainrid was a title? Bard is a title. You've left me scattered. I have systems to keep track all of this and they are currently askew. I will tidy them in time. I will recover. Be assured of that. See it in your tea leaves or entrails (this is not literal) or don't. This is ill timed. She always strikes, when she strikes, at this point in the winter. I think it is when she is most bored, but I don't have a sense of seasons underground. I give you no credit for this, but I think what you did serves as a protection against what I received. I cannot be taken for I am already lost. That sort of thing. By the time I recover in full, I should be past the point of temptation. More maybe she'll have taken it from me. He'll give me up after all.
I am interested in you more so than the court. Are you born into your position? Your abilities? Do your abilities force you into your role? Do you have choice in the matter? Do you believe in choice in the first place? So, the first, born or learned. The second, if born, do you have a choice. If learned, why did you choose it?
Let us begin there. I can manage little currently.
Please ask me a question in return. It will help.
Glenn