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* * * * *
You are asleep. You are dreaming.
Or are you?
Is it real? Is it a dream?
You decide.
* * * * *
Surrounding you is a wilderness.
It is quiet, as quiet as the yawning mouth of an open grave; it is as wide and deep as that mouth can at times seem. If there are other living things in the uncultivated, untamed forest that has closed its jaws around you, perhaps they have been swallowed in turn; have slid down its slimy esophagus and are currently digesting in its vast stomach, waiting to be expelled via its terrestrial asshole -- into the waking world, presumably. Are they asleep and dreaming, too -- like you? Or are they awake like you, and you've found yourselves simultaneously in a surreal gyre?
But we digress.
The wilderness is not, however, as cold and forbidding as that open grave appears. Nor is it so final in its meaning and/or its context in relation to life. Quite the opposite, actually.
Death is a surrender. Death is stoic, unrelenting. Death is both fickle and finicky -- "Am I in the mood for a grandfather on his deathbed," says Death, the scythe-wielding, robed skeleton chuckling at his clever choice of words while tapping a distal phalange against his nasal spine, "or a sleeping infant?" Death is a state of ignorant complacency and the acceptance thereof in the face of the living experience. The omnipresent black of dreamless slumber; the monolith of death in all its macabre, graven eloquence -- these are embraced and worshiped when one dies, idolized and preferred to the scintillant, pulsing globe of life, the warm combination of joy and misery it both exudes and contains.
Unlike death, however, the wilderness is, as its name implies, wild; it thrives and grows, albeit in patient, expectant silence, reveling noiselessly in and because of its raw, untouched, chaotic beauty. It is always in a state of flux; it is delicate; it carefully balances order and disorder on the head of a pin, where angels praise the concentric dichotomy even as they samba, as they waltz and then tango and then salsa, as they pirouette and as a group perform a jeté. The wilderness is tireless in its pursuit for that balance; it is specific and brooks no nonsense from its inhabitants, be they flora or fauna. After all, it's always something else, an exterior agent, that fucks things up for the wilderness.
The wilderness is like that globe: it is warm, pleasantly so, with moments of brilliance firing sparks hither and thither, illuminating the miraculous and banishing the ridiculous, shedding light on life and in turn enhancing it, transforming it. Into what is another matter entirely. What does matter, on the other hand, is that it is alive and experiencing life, even during its transformation -- think of the larva, the pupa, the imago. That is an accurate representation, except that the wilderness is forever changing. Just very subtly and very gradually, with its fragile synergies of light and dark, beauty and ugliness, order and chaos, life and death always in mind.
Let us return to the present, however, for the setting has been altered slightly.
Now, on occasion, the soft, playful hands of the wind stir the leaves of the countless trees, prompting them to exchange their ancient secrets and expansive knowledge of the earth and air. To our ears, this exchange of information is aught more than a din of rustling, leafy whispers. Too, your clothes -- yes, you are clothed; you're wearing whatever you wore last -- and hair -- if you have any, that is -- are caressed and combed by the wind. And while it isn't an especially strong wind, it has enough gusto to penetrate this deeply into the wilderness, and that should speak volumes about what it would be like beyond the relative protection of the trees.
Daylight filters through the canopy, brighter, more intense in some spots than others but always painting the world with the same washed-out color palette, playing tricks on the rods and cones in your eyes. Exactly what hue or shade of green is that leaf? The precise brown of that tree trunk? (Or is there a hint of gray in the wood, too?) Any movement will cause these colors to shift with you, as if they and what they are visually linked to are drawn to you, forced to accompany you on both physical and spectral levels. Wiggle your fingers in front of your eyes, friend, and you'll see tracers; the ghostly visual echoes of your fingers will briefly exist as light, vanishing in a blink and leaving dazzling phosphorescent lines in your vision for several moments afterward. If you will, envision the world through a pane of frosted glass. That is an accurate representation, except that the wilderness isn't a winter wonderland, not yet, and the pane isn't just in front of you. Like the wilderness, it surrounds you.
By the way: there is a knife on the ground in front of you.
It is just a knife. It isn't a special knife, or even a particularly pretty knife. It consists of an unadorned, squarish pommel; a leatherbound haft; a slightly larger yet equally unadorned, squarish version of the pommel makes the guard; a double-edged, eight-inch blade with a blood gutter that runs along three-quarters of the blade's length. Half of one edge is serrated. Both edges are razor-sharp. It balances perfectly in your hand. And should you inspect the knife further, you will find the following words etched into the flat bottom of the pommel:
Use me.
But ... how?
That's up to you.
And whoever else may be in the wilderness with you.
