More New Laws, Courtesy Your Friendly Neighborhood Lawmakers

More New Laws, Courtesy Your Friendly Neighborhood Lawmakers

Postby channe » Sun Sep 29, 2013 1:54 pm

Image

BE IT KNOWN
At the decree of Vice-Gov. AGNIESZKA RIVER

The following newly-enacted BYELAWS are to be observed:

i.
No Citizen shall be seen in Public bereft of a HAT.

ii.
No Citizen over the age of Nine Years shall be seen in Public BAREFOOT.

iii.
No Member of a Household wherein the Income exceeds Two Sovereigns per annum shall be seen wearing Garments SOIL'D, FRAYED, TORN, THREADBARE, or visibly
PATCH’D or MENDED.
Such Garb shall be Confiscated and BURNT.

iv.
Hair reaching the Shoulder or longer shall be kept CLEAN, BRUSHED, TASTEFULLY BRAIDED & ADORNED.
Hair found to contain SNARLS, TANGLES or VERMIN shall be CROPPED to the SCALP.

v.
Citizens found to be unduly BEGRIMED, BEFOULED, infested with LICE or similar Vermin, or deemed NOXIOUS of BREATH or BODY shall spend a Full Day in the STOCKS followed by an enforced Bath.

vi.
Citizens failing to return a Polite Greeting, or offering a retort deemed SURLY or UNCOUTH, shall pay a Fine of no less than One Shilling, depending on the Severity of the Offence.

By order of the Office of the Governor of Myrken Wood
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Re: More New Laws, Courtesy Your Friendly Neighborhood Lawma

Postby Treadwell » Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:12 pm

More laws, eh, Aloisius? People are starving, and she's passing idiotic rules regarding people wearing hats and taking baths and stitching clothes! Never mind that half the laws don't have stated penalties for 'em!

Treadwell rocks gently on his flat feet and his cane, standing outside his toy shop as he reads the poster nailed to the gallows platform. Given it being the first of the week, he wears his sunny, yellow Tubbian vestments--miter, cloak, robes, gloves, sash, and the rest. Soon, though, he wobbles back inside the toy store, locking the door behind him. Business, admittedly, has been poor as of late; with food now the primary concern for most reasonable people, the want to purchase toys has gone away for now, and with all these new sumptuary laws being passed, toymaking is indeed hardly profitable.

Thus, as Treadwell plods back through storefront to kitchen to bathroom to bedroom, he turns his attention to other matters at the moment: namely, how a fat butterball taxman can win over the populace from a woman who has bewitched anyone else important!
"Looks like a table to me. Do you think it could hold up someone as bulbous as Treadwell?" -- Dr. Brennan, Myrken Wood Rememdium Edificium
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Re: More New Laws, Courtesy Your Friendly Neighborhood Lawma

Postby catch » Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:22 pm

A list of sins, and here, he filled them all; the only one he manages to escape is his hair, for Cherny had shorn that close but two weeks before. He stands there, gazing up at the new laws and rules, entirely ignorant of their contents or the looks he garners by any who pass by him at the fringes of Myrken's streets, where once he had found the bulk of his wonderful treasures, carelessly thrown into rubbish-heaps. His beard lays tangled in briny curls, clinging to his jaw, stuck through with dead flowers and the first of autumn's yellowed leaves, his eye wet and trembling under ash and dried mud, his clothing torn and smeared, his ragged-nailed toes biting into the earth. He looked like a Godling, shaped from mud, giving breath and life by some Elfin enchantress. He looked positively terrible.

So camouflaged, was he, because he had spent the night before last in slumber, safe in Genny's bed, and so had felt a stir of boldness that the banishment of the locusts had given him. Catch had gone out and cut all the town-horse's tails, tying knotted rope to help them keep the flies away, but yet leaving them ragged and unkempt and entirely unfit to be seen. He had thrown the shorn, rough hair and wet, rotting leaves through any window he had seen, and had - highly revulsed, and gagging - thrown in the locusts, as well, whatever little gold-and-red bodies had remained. Little things. Little pricks.

Here was fresh parchment, and Catch could make heads nor tails of it, except for the snickering wedge-shapes and the sharp, weasel teeth.

He thought of ways he could cover the hole of Myrken.
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Re: More New Laws, Courtesy Your Friendly Neighborhood Lawma

Postby Guppy » Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:32 pm

Noura peered up at the paper declaring the new laws with a frown upon her face. The sign was suspended a little too high and the height-challenged young woman had to stand upon her tip-toes to read the first rule. It was clear that the Vice Governor had been changed. No longer the woman railing against Rhaena's oppression in the confines of the tavern. Noura turned her face down upon her bare, filthy feet and frowned, the expression giving her an almost sullen appearance. Bare feet were far quieter when moving through the underbrush, she protested internally. There was not an ear to catch about the issue, however, and she resigned herself to always wear her boots.

Fingers tangled in her hair, as well, as she read down the list. Her digits caught in the snarls held there and she winced. Shoulders slumped and she would make her way back towards the tavern to make the necessary changes to her appearance.
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