A Busy Birthday Morning

A Busy Birthday Morning

Postby Treadwell » Mon Jun 01, 2015 3:53 am

"M'lord, your brother most unhappily informed me, and I most regrettably inform you, that the house was burgled last night by a small, furry creature perhaps three or four feet tall. M'lord Langley believes it a kobold."

Aloisius Treadwell's shrill cry of "Whaaaaaaaat?!" rattles the shuttered windows in the sides of the carriage as he pauses in his snacking at a piece of cake, picked up from a baker on the way home.

"Calm yourself, m'lord. I and the other servants have spent much of the morning cleaning the mud from the rugs and taking stock of what is missing. An ample amount of food disappeared in the creature's sack; six forks, seven spoons, and three knives are absent from the silverware; and four of the silver-rimmed plates are gone."

A seething, huffing Treadwell frowns, his pipe ejecting gray fluffs of discontent.

"And, with m'lord Langley's permission, I have taken the liberty of calling back four of the men you keep ready as guards for such distasteful moments. He has ordered them to take watch, two at the front and two at the back."

More smoke. Another hmph.

"M'lady Alice and the children and m'lady Elizia are all well. Langley is staying off his feet, and Doctor Jacobson was inspecting his shin when I left this morning to fetch you. It seems that when he went to the kitchen wearing his gown late in the night, 'feeling a bit peckish' as he told me, he caught the villain by surprise. It kicked his leg and ran out the back of the house, waking Pinky and setting her squealing furiously. That woke the rest of the house, and it took Nicholas and Arella an hour or two to see her settled back down properly."

Another hmph. "I will replace the food easily, Gregory."

"I know you will, m'lord. You have. . . well, m'lord Langley and the many Tubbians believe you have powers to do that. I am sure you could merely think the command, and the pantry would be overflowing again."

"I will see about the rest. And I will have to deal with the kobold soon, mmph mmph."

"Of course. But, wait, what's this? Another carriage, m'lord? Another three carriages parked before the house. . . ."

The wheels groan to a stop as a tug on the reins tells Arnold to slow, then waddle to a stop.

Fifteen great-bellied, wobbly, robed, elderly men burst from the front door of the house in turn, scurrying for the newly arrived coach. The side door of Treadwell's carriage is gently tugged open, and there--

"Tubbians?"

"Great and Holy Tubbius!" the fifteen aged voices echo shrill and loud.

"My blessed and benevolent Lord!" comes one particular voice that Treadwell has known for ages.

"James! Tubbius Princeps Wilde! What is all of this? Gregory, mmph mmph! I have fallen asleep and appear to dream!"

"You dream not, m'lord! We appear to have a great many sudden guests today!"

"Holy Tubbius!" Wilde continues, offering his superior both hands to help him from the carriage, "this day is most sacred to every Tubbian faithful and true! We have travelled some days to see you here this morning. Besides, your beloved Alice informs us there will be cake."

A pause for breath, and a nod to the Tubbians all around the coach, and then, a joyous shout from all around of "Happy birthday!"
"Looks like a table to me. Do you think it could hold up someone as bulbous as Treadwell?" -- Dr. Brennan, Myrken Wood Rememdium Edificium
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Treadwell
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