House Call.

[BetaFlame]

"You know, Agnie, you don't give yourself nearly enough credit." He doesn't elaborate on that at all. He just follows her finger as she points out things, and listens her to her rambling, with a faint turn of his lips. Yes, he's amused, and he is trying damned hard not to let on that he is amused. He remembers what she said about killing Baker, so he doesn't press on it. He's already opened her up more than she is used to, and there is no reason to torture her on it.

So he just scoops up his staff and follows her, the end making a faint clicking on the path as they walk. Her rounding on him nearly causes him to run into her -again-, but he manages to pull up short. "If you need a break, there is always another time. But I am used to foreign thoughts in my head, Agnie. I just kept the unpleasant thoughts and memories from you. So unless you want to see the horrible things I did for King and Country right now, we can wait." He just blinks at her and waits for her to either reach for him or start walking again. "Although, I must admit I am more than a little curious to see the end..."

[channe]

"Huh," she says -- and, after considering it for a moment, she holds out her hand and wiggles her fingers. "If this is goin' where I think it's goin', we'd best know before... before it goes too far." A thin, regretful smile.

[BetaFlame]

"You are totally taking the blame for us being late with your mother."

He takes a deep breath and reaches out, and slides his hands into hers. Fingers sliding between hers as he closes his eyes.

Its a different sort of feel this time. Before there was a sense of something held back. Now there isn't. There is almost an eagerness to the feeling. A predatory feeling. Not like the monster that lives with his angel, no. Not the seething sort of thoughtless rage that was festering inside Aeryn. This is cold, calculating, and just.. wrong.

A flash of memory. His first mission. The youngest Hunter-Seeker in history. Just twenty-five years old. And he is sent to kill a witch. Only, its not what he expects. A farmwife, washing in the basin. Hanging her laundry? This is a witch? No, this can't be right. He draws his sword. Stop. A few steps closer, and the woman stands, chin lifting in defiance. She will not go. He lifts the blade, pointing it at her. STOP. She lifts her hands, starting a spell. A rush, and the blade snakes to her heart. STOP. A moment later, she is dead, and a smirk crosses his face. Never again.. Anger. Sadness. Revulsion. What was he doing? What was he? No. There is no honor in this. That darkness, that love of violence, sealed away, blocked within him. His own love of fighting and killing, sealed away inside him. Every life he takes he mourns. He bears the weight of each life. Faces.. and he can remember them all.

[channe]

"I'll just call it a town emergency," she says.

Will he feel the way she flinches, holding his hand in the middle of this summer's day?

Flashes.

The Wailing Towers: once more, sliding quickly into Aleksei's eyes.

See the brilliant, fire-lit black room. See the girl on the slab, white as death. See the dirt still under her fingernails, behind her ear, on her lips. See the lord in his black-and-gold, sliding the ten gold-and-garnet rings onto her fingers. Feel the glorious Power of the Bright, barely contained behind the eyes of the men and women of the King's Own, crackling like humidity in the air around them. This ritual is as ancient as death itself. Constantine Kostroma, lord of this assembly, commander of His Own, chosen of all that is good in the world, is saving her. Or damning her, depending on which way Aleksei looks at it.

She isn't supposed to be breathing, but she is.

Flashes.

A man's voice, and darkness besides. Darkness, and the constant feeling of dirt on her lips and pressing down on her chest. The worms caressing her cheek. The choking non-breath, the terrible knowledge that you have been buried alive, but you're not alive, you haven't been for days --

"The power the Bright grants us is an incredible responsibility," he says. "And this is the only way of making sure that we never abuse it. Because every single time you use it, this is what you will feel. It will always be with you, reminding you that serving the Bright is serving the spirit of life. You're the sword of the divine now, Agnieszka. You used to be a little petty child, a killer, a murderer, a nothing. You would have died in that tavern, if it hadn't been for the fact that we came for you. That the Bright came for you. Now you're something so much more than you were."

"I never wanted this," Agnie replies.

"None of us do. But we're chosen nonetheless." Kostroma. Aleksei knows the name almost immediately. He may have even met the man. "Or would you rather still be dead?"

"Yes," she replies.

[BetaFlame]

He does feel her flinch, but he supposes she will have to get over that for the moment. He's really too focused on what he sees and feels to comment or do anything about it. The visions roll over his mind and he flinches at the feeling of being crushed under the weight of the earth. But he doesn't pull away. No, his grip tightens on hers for a moment, then he releases her hand. How long had they been like that? A moment? An hour? Time seemed to lose meaning.

"That's.. fairly intense. I need a moment." He gives her a little smile and shrug, leaning on his staff. No one knew what he just showed her. Not even the ones that trained him. Sure, he completed his mission. But that was the moment he began to question their intent. "You were like that the first time I saw you, I think. Fill with, what was it, The Bright?" He remembers back to the day near midwinter when he saw her for the first time in the tavern. She may not have even noticed him. After all, then he was just one more bookworm stumbling into Myrken, probably to be dead before the new year.

"At least we don't have to shoulder our burdens alone anymore, right?"

[channe]

She can't say it's okay, because what he did was not okay. But yet -- there are things you learn as a child that are wrong. Agnieszka has pushed aside some of those things; some remain. Agnie has certainly rationalized her share of sins. Instead of saying anything right away, she takes a breath.

"You didn't know," she says. "You couldn't have known. That's really the saddest part of it all -- that you never had a choice."

She takes another breath and draws her hands back to her upper arms, rubbing them as if she's cold. "Yeah," she says. "Kostroma says it's God, but I -- I dunno. I don't believe it. At least it's not the God I grew up goin' to church with. An' I'm not good with any of that theology. Not like you. You know, with the angel in your head and all."

[BetaFlame]

He raises a brow and just shakes his head. He straightens and just stretches for a moment, pushing his arms up above his head and letting the bunches muscles loosen. "Neither did you. They forced it on you. They did it because they wanted something, I am sure." He just quirks a brow. She knows, even if she won't tell him right now. Or maybe she doesn't know. She could just have been a pawn in a greater game.

"Oh? You think she tells me the divine secrets of the multiverse, Agnie? Not so much. She doesn't have a choice. She's good and orderly because that is all she can be. She has no free will. She was never made with free will. She's the embodiment of the heavens, and she can't explain them to me anymore than you can explain how to breath air to a fish. No, I am just as blind in that as the rest of humanity. I have my own beliefs, of course, but that is another matter. The gods I know are petty and cruel." He sighs and shakes his head. The 'gods' and their followers are why he has an angel in his head in the first place.

"Let's take a break from this, though. It's a lovely day, and you and I are finally starting to understand each other. Damn the bad things in life, lets just enjoy each others company with out worrying about the next crisis for an hour." He smiles. There is much left unsaid still, but.. Agnie had walls, and if he tried to tear them all down at once, she'd just start rebuilding them all over again.

[channe]

His tone is a little haughty as he speaks about the angel. In response, she sets her jaw and doesn't say anything for a moment, shoving her hands in her pockets. Finally, she shrugs. "I know what they want," she says, but she doesn't elucidate.

And she's silent for a moment, walking forward with him in the sunny afternoon. After a few long seconds, she looks back up and raises her hand, pointing in the direction of the barns -- almost as if nothing has happened between them. "Town's that way, about forty-five minutes. You up for a walk?"

[BetaFlame]

He gives her a curious look. She does? Interesting. And really, he's more annoyed. He has a creature as old as the ages, one that has seen the rise and fall of civilizations, and she can't even give him insight into the question that torments most people. Why are we here? He rubs at his forehead, and glances over at her again.

"Sure. Walks aren't so bad. They are better than riding those four legged death traps you call transportation." He gives a little shudder at that. Horses. He hates them so much. His mind wanders again, remembering the visions recalling them in detail as they walk. "What were the rings, anyway?"

[channe]

Oh, she knows why she's here now. Every member of the King's Own has a beautifully delineated purpose. Whether they can communicate that purpose is a different story. Before Razasan? She was just another mouth to feed. Another dirty Myrkenite.

She continues walking, not exactly looking at him. The rings are still on her hands; they are thin things, made more to stay on the hand without damage rather than for visual aplomb. "I don't really know how to explain it," she says. "I can't take 'em off, though." A pause; he's changed the subject, and she's glad for it.

"Hey," she says. "Hey. If you want to hang out with me, you're going to have to get over your fear o' horses."

[BetaFlame]

Horses. Ugh. That makes his mouth go dry. He licks his lips to try and moisten them. "One of my first missions involved a Nightmare. It nearly killed me. Never been able to face one since then." He scrubs his hand back through his hair, pushing it out of his face. "It wasn't so much the creature itself, but the fact that it got in my head so easily. I spent next couple of years battling the dreams in my head. Usually involving horses eating my flesh. They were so vivid I could feel their teeth on me when I wake up." He's quiet when he talks about it. It still bothers him. But if she was going share with him, he supposed he should return the favor at some point.

He gives a little shudder again, then just shakes his head. "You know, after this I am telling Glenn I want a year off. A whole year. Call it mental health leave."

[channe]

She's almost kind. "... off?" It's a foreign concept. "... a whole year off? What on Earth would you do? Off." She smirks at him. Of course she would; she's a peasant. She probably grew up with no time off, no holidays, no days to herself at all. It's the way of such things when you grow up on a farm -- especially a farm like Jan Baker's.

But then: she almost looks sad for him. "Our horses ain't Nightmares," she says, quietly. "They ain't psychic and you have to tell 'em where to go. They're really kind of dumb."

[BetaFlame]

What would he do with a day off? "Read, Agnie. I am so far behind in what I want to study I don't know if I will ever catch up. Despite what people think, I don't really -like- putting myself in mortal danger. I'd rather be studying." He shrugs and sighs. So many books in the world, and he will never read a small portion of them. "Speaking of, do you know anyone that can teach me the other language you were speaking with your mother? Might be useful for me to know." Oh, he's always looking for something new, isn't he?

"There are no horse in Rodel anyway. We walk everywhere. No need for them on an island, and we don't exactly have pastures to support them. If we had them, they would probably be for meat anyway." He smirks at her and shrugs. "I bet I can cover more distance in a day on my feet. You have to stop to feed your horse. I can walk and eat and drink at the same time." He really hates horses...

[channe]

"Why would you want to read?"

It's a very interesting question, isn't it? Oh, she's read and studied, but a scholar? Not Agnieszka Kaczmarek. Not unless you're talking battle plans and histories. "Mama can teach you, if you like. She's usually pretty good with that kind of thing. It's Dauntless, spoken up north. And you're not in Rodel anymore. Let's say Glenn sends you to Thessilane -- he ain't gonna put your lily ass in a carriage like a noble. He'll expect you to ride a horse. Or, you know, we'll get there weeks before you. And then what use are you?"

[BetaFlame]

"Anything I can get my hands on, Agnie. I love knowledge for the sake of knowledge. Before all this started, I was studying the sky. Some stars move oddly compared to others, and I want to know why. Failing that, there is always math and engineering. Its nice to know how to lift a rock that six men can't lift all by yourself." Which he had done for people in the area after the Catch-Quake. Aleksei's crane's and pullys had saved a fair number of people loads of time and man power.

He glances over at her with an amused smirk. "If you had asked me that question a month ago, I would have told you I that I'd grow wings and fly and beat you all there." At least she had seen the wings, so it could be believed.