Some Dreams Are

Re: Some Dreams Are

Postby Dejicide » Mon Apr 03, 2017 2:39 am

Hokwing had mused about what exactly she could have done to force him to stop if he got carried away but until now the concept never quite came back up. Jade eyes watched her hands work his and the understated example while he frowned faintly. It wasn't the concept of being controlled that got to him but her own feelings regarding it: was that a regret or apology for reminding him of it so she could potentially have her way? Again, he never took those words seriously. Perhaps foolishly he trusted the woman's actions and respect for him much more than her actual words. They had been nothing but straight-forward in that way, so much so that body language and demeanor had given away feelings that were lingering behind.

Perhaps in spite of all that but without deliberate intent he held Victoria close by her midsection. An exhale escaped him as she finished her explaining about greed and possible ways to hold on. It wasn't born of frustration or irritation but palpable relief that came with a quiet rumble in his chest and words that were hardly any louder. "I trust you. Perhaps more than you trust yourself since I don't have to second-guess the thoughts in your head or customs I'm mostly ignorant about. The fact you're here and you show reluctance about what you speak of is more than enough to convince me to put my safety and comfort in your hands."

He drew back a bit to make eye contact and rested his hands upon her hips, his tone as reasonable as she insists he often is. "You've given in to many of my whims and have even sustained injury. I know it's not the same but I'm comfortable in following suit- aside from or including this topic you're so insistent on tip-toeing around. You needn't even concern yourself with my feelings as I obviously do worse to myself than you can manage. I'm becoming very aware of a number of things including my own selfishness." His back finally found the trunk of the tree he had leaned his flank against earlier and he lifted his head to peer skyward. She was free of his hands and arms for the moment though perhaps the only reason she wasn't pulled with was to avoid a stark contradiction with the words he just spoke.

"I'm not going anywhere and you don't need to say anything else regarding it. Knowing that I'm here for you, that I'm more than a complication, will keep me comfortably rooted until you slip away. If you're so concerned about attachments know that it's far too late: losing a friend is losing a friend and these things happen. I will console myself in vengeance with gleeful abandon when that happens. My own prideful war can wait; it is my past and isn't going anywhere. Best wait until then anyhow; confidence aside, it's bloody work with no guarantees... and I like my hamstrings intact."

He beamed a broad grin at the woman in red then, eager perhaps to put away so many of the conflicts that idle hands can create in the warmer months. "I can't thank you enough for your candidness. I know it isn't easy for you. I would repay you for your words if you can only name a price."
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Re: Some Dreams Are

Postby Niabh » Mon Apr 03, 2017 7:05 am

She wrinkled her nose at him, mostly good-humored, and, setting a hand on his chest, pretended to push him off her. Somehow she managed to do it in just such a way that required getting more entangled, one arm draped over his shoulder. “You may thank me by remembering not to thank me,” she said with play indignation, and laughed. One finger snaked a path from his collarbone and hooked into the front of his vest, tugging. Her voice turned smoky. “Any other debts I’ll take out in labor.” Likewise she somehow made labor sound like a punishment worth sinning for.

Then she peeped up at him, more serious—a little nervous. “I…thank you, too.” The awkwardness was evident even in the way she pronounced the word: as if they were a whole walnut between her back teeth and she obliged to crack it. Even her jaw contorted with the difficulty. She had planned to follow that up with something; she had enough evidence to understand that, in general, the words thank you were followed by an explanation of what one was being thanked for. But breaking the taboo at all had been more challenging than she anticipated, and she flustered and went silent, with a sheepish little smile. I know, I know, that expression said; I’ll do better.

“And it scarcely matters if you go about abusing your feelings, although I don't see you being much improved by it. That’s just more reason for me not to. That’s not even kindness; it just makes sense. That’s me buying turnip soup for Catch even though he’s some rusting ageless unfathomable creature from the First Days and couldn’t starve to death if you sewed his gullet shut. There’s plenty of suffering in the world that can’t be helped, so there’s no use in me adding any more.”

Perhaps in the spirit of not contributing any more sorrow than was inevitable, or in contrition for early sorrow inflicted in losing her temper, she was putting off the very issue she herself had broached. She would have been happy to go on chattering until it could be delayed to another day, mayhap forgotten indefinitely.

With a clear sigh to signal her lack of enthusiasm, she slid away from him.

“Oh, I trust that I could do it. That’s not trouble.” Her voice was guileless, not quite grasping that she had misread him. The statement was a simple truth, since honestly appeared to be the guiding principle of the day, but her tone conveyed a second truth of which she was completely innocent: that it would be easy to do it. Her eyes flashed at him, briefly annoyed. “And I am not tiptoeing.” She softened her very real irritation by feigning a pretend stamp at his foot.

“Glamourie works in many ways, but at its heart, there must always be something to change. One cannot make something of nothing, nor can one make nothing out of something. ’Tis why true invisibility is beyond its scope.” She raised her voice a fraction and added, in a slightly prim, plainly teasing tone, “And these are professional secrets I’m giving away here, sir. They’d kick me out of the guild an they knew I’d told you.” She cast him a fond smile, then shrugged and continued. “But you can use it to change feelings as well. Not so much feeling, really, as…need, I suppose would be the closest word. It’s very hard to engender true need, but if it’s already there, you can make people believe it’s something else—make it bigger, or smaller, or turn it toward another target.”

The smile she flashed him did not reach her eyes. “’Tis how our love spells work. Two people need not feel anything at all about each other, but if there is anything in them that longs to be loved…then you can mix them up however you like. They won’t know the difference.” Her voice was a little flat, but also, somehow, a little dreamy. Contemplative. Ruminating on the possibilities. It was precisely why she had felt no qualms at laying glam upon Lady Patience and Murrukh. Those two were already in love and wasting precious time stumbling through the bog of tultharian propriety. That was different. They just needed nudging. Then she shrugged again. “And it works on other things as well. Attraction to lust, sorrow to despair, foreboding to blind fear, irritation to rage.”

Now she could not look at him at all. “So I suppose the question to ask would be...an you were in your rage, what might possibly induce you to stop?
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Re: Some Dreams Are

Postby Dejicide » Mon Apr 03, 2017 11:24 pm

Payment through said labor was his intent. The fact she felt being redundant about it may have caused an eye roll and his own acknowledgement but her method in doing so elicited an obvious half-grin that sustained for some time. He was eager to but remained measure in the face of conversation. She had explained so much in what he believed to be truth that he would not be surprised if some old, forgotten curse of her people might wither her into some husk immediately and leave only a patch of smoldering rags at his feet.

"I get it," he breathed, and honestly felt like he did: her reluctance and how it all worked. It was the most logical and perhaps subversive sort of magic he had heard of after spending half of his life around sorcerers who would bend the world to their will with no taste for subtlety. Why Bother with subtlety when you have this much power, they would argue unwisely. His reply was often a swift and tactical method of imposing force over their intent so it couldn't come to fruition. The question of his ability to stop her or her people from glamming casually concerned him a moment but was easily dismissed: he'd just have to pay a little more attention.

She wrapped up her speech with an inquiry that caused a pause in his usual thought process. It was an easy enough answer to give but he dwelled more on why she asked: was it in case she glammed him into that state or so she could avoid subjective him to it the next time he lost his temper, perhaps around those she felt undeserved of his fury? His brows lifted at her, unsure still of her intent. He almost asked a simple Why? before a more characteristically thoughtful choice of words was formed.

"Are you concerned with my passion or the rage you witnessed months ago?" Fingers reached out for her chin so that he could insist she did look at him and he could express his sincerity with more than words by gazing into the blackness of her eyes. "If it's true rage you can know I'll not turn it to you: I'm not entirely blinded by blood-lust in those moments. If it's getting carried away with you, appeal to reason. Remind me that we mean something to each other. Embellish and lie if you must, I won't look for an apology later."

He dragged the claw of his thumb just under her jawline delicately until his hand rested on her collar and thumb lightly over her jugular. It was meant to reassure in spite of the danger represented and he would lower his eyes finally to deliberately appreciate the woman that stood before him.

"I'm aware there is a line not to cross and I'm quite wary as to not lose you due to my carelessness. I may have issued warning log ago but I'd like to think I've learned how to avoid said line. Can you replace your worry with trust in me?"
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Re: Some Dreams Are

Postby Niabh » Tue Apr 04, 2017 11:41 am

The catch in his voice was proof he’d understood the gravity of the glam, which was quite excuse enough to leave off talking about technical details and return to him. She laid a reassuring hand to the side of his arm. “No need to look so dark about it, airgead. This is no secret. You’re in no hazard for hearing and I’m in no trouble for telling. Any Tuatha would say you this much, so long as she knew you could never do it. If anything, this is boasting.

As the bone-white claw traced her jawline, she closed her eyes and held very, very still, scarcely seeming to breathe. The pulse under his thumb sped up. In the full warmth of the spring light, goosebumps rose visibly on her bare arms.

When the hand moved away, her eyes opened and she released the stifled breath in a long rush through her nose, with a sound somewhere between a contented hum and a purr. It was a chore to find her focus again. Hadn’t they just been discussing something semi-serious? Oh yes. Trust-things again. Damn.

“It’s unfortunate for us both, but if I bite your shoulder a touch too hard in the throes of passion, at worst I’ll have a sore jaw and you might get a bruise. You bite mine and we’ll have to call a halt to everything and there’ll be a great deal of mopping up and apologizing and the mood will be utterly spoiled. Not to mention I’ll be in close proximity and possibly pinned, unless you intend on letting me on top all the time. I am completely amenable to that plan, by the by.”

She flicked her braid back over her shoulder with a sharp toss of her head. On this subject if no other, she could be cheerfully, casually candid. There was no embarrassment or blame, just a matter-of-fact acknowledgement that this was what they both were and that considerations must be made accordingly.

“I trust you, my airgead. I also trust in what you said before: that at the height of your season, you might lose yourself. I thought on it when you said it, and this was the first thing that came to mind that would both stop you at once and do you no lasting harm.” Her fingers traced the scars, white on silver, that laddered his arms. “Just because you have plenty of these doesn’t mean I’d like to add one more. I feel I’ve actually just said that in relation to something else, but you get the idea. Moreover, I know you. If you did me a serious injury, you’d never forgive yourself. I don’t want to risk that being on you, either.” Then she shrugged, pulling her face into of near-comical nonchalance. “Though I’ll admit, I’m not entirely selfless on that point.”

She glanced back up at him, her face both grave and fond. “But it comes to this: I would do no such a thing without your consent and foreknowledge. Or at least without warning you first. That goes for any other glam of mine.”

It was a rather large proposal, laying the will of her glamourie in the hands of another, and for a moment, she couldn’t help but feel irked—as if it was he who had made the demand and not she offering it. This truthfulness business got easier to do in practice, but she was still sorting out how she felt about it. On the one hand, it was a little liberating, like splitting a burden. But on the other hand, what happened to all she invested in him? What if she needed it again? Could she ask for it back, or was it his to keep now?

These questions never came up back home.
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Re: Some Dreams Are

Postby Dejicide » Wed Apr 05, 2017 11:38 am

"You needn't ask for permission," he reassured. "If you insist on needing it, I insist more strongly that said permission is granted. That's exactly what I meant by trust: you have my full consent regarding your glamouries upon me." The redundancy in his words was deliberate so that she no longer needed to fret with the idea. It was an unconditional thing that he doubted would lead to regret but if and when it did he would still blame himself in the end for allowing such a thing in the hands of someone with such potential for control. It had been a long time since he put this measure of faith into something or someone but at least this time he was aware of the consequences. After all she had described there would be no convincing her that he had been through worse than what she could offer; if she thought him silly or ignorant by feeling that way he would dismiss it.

And dismiss it he did, nearly all of it, by clicking his tongue in a tsk and literally brushing his shoulder with a hand to discard the less than tangible concept. As he discarded the weighty topics that had bounced between them in an awkward sort of volley a thin smirk grew across his muzzle while he kept his jade eyes upon her. "I'm beginning to observe a theme here, dear Victoria. Whether through glam or the mundane excuse you've constructed many reasons for an alpha predator to be submissive. Just how calculating are you, hmm?" He obviously teased whether or not there was truth behind the potential manipulation there and gave a shrug of his shoulders and wings. "I don't mind."

Today was a day of change that he'd remember for some time. There were supposed to be no attachments or promises aside from the lack there of was how it was supposed to be. He had said earlier that she would have to see some sort of unfathomable change to continue what they had only to be proven dead wrong by her even before a cherished sort of over-sharing poured out of her. He had felt entirely corrected, put in his place, and appreciated every bit of it by both the information and feelings offered. His lover held a much greater worth to him than his foolish moodiness and ego; a boon for sure, even if it took some discord to realize it. Victoria insisted he was more than his past and even if he had trouble seeing it at the moment it was an eye-opening statement that he would try to live up to and take her word for in the mean time. While he used to dwell on starting something they couldn't finish he was more inclined to enjoy what they had; nobody was around forever anyway. He knew that well enough. There was a challenge for the future, perhaps, to more convincingly show he it was alright to leave him behind.

Would there be guilt if time passed and she considered staying?

That was a question, a fantasy, that was quickly abandoned. It was contradictory to the new mood that had taken him. His eyes shifted towards the trees that surrounded them again while his tail swayed mischievously behind him as he spoke. "...but today we play a game for this privilege, your choice: a test of archery or a hunt." A broad grin broke out as he stepped to her and pulled her close by the hips. There was a quiet amendment spoken in an insistent whisper while he gazed down at her. "I'll be very disappointed if you choose archery."
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Re: Some Dreams Are

Postby Niabh » Thu Apr 06, 2017 6:31 am

She nodded, relieved. She had felt more than a touch bad for even considering the suggestion, and to have him not only receive but accept it with good humor did a lot for setting her mind at ease. She did hope this wasn’t merely his good nature trying to set her at ease, or—worse—that he was simply humoring her. But she knew him well enough to know that he had had his own experiences—and his opinions—of tultharian magics. If he truly had doubts, he would have spoken them. In so many ways he was a refreshing antidote to Court, where this time next fortnight she’d still be wondering what he really meant. With Hok, she had learned, what he really meant generally came rolling out of his mouth directly, sooner or later. It was one of the things she liked about him.

No sooner did that affectionate thought occur than his next straightforward statement nearly knocked her feet out from under her. “How on earth is that submissive?” The suggestion left her earnestly baffled. Her usual quick-footed poise had completely vanished, leaving her both anxious and faintly insulted. “I’m hardly submissive, am I? Sh-should we…should we do it standing up or something?”

Her cheeks actually flushed. Point one to Hokwing for shocking the unshockable.

In an effort to recover herself, she studied him critically, thumb rubbing the knob of her chin as her eyes traveled slowly from his bare feet to the crown of his horns. “It’s the height,” she decided at last, with a firm nod, as though it were a formal diagnosis. “I’m not used to a man having a full foot over me. I feel fragile.” Now the grin was creeping up again, as much as she tried to choke it back. “You are much more assertive than most men I know,” she admitted. “Not that it’s a bad thing. I just don’t know what to do with it, betimes. You carry yourself more…like a woman.” Judging by her tone, and by the utter guileless look in her eyes, this was clearly intended as a compliment.

“Only because if we choose archery, I’ll win,” she replied with smug but unshakeable certainty. Behind it, she was already brightening, her ears perking forward at the prospect of a game—any game. “What would we be hunting, then? Uh-oh.”

Her gaze swapped downward. His tail was swishing again. That couldn’t mean anything good.

She blinked up at him. “Should I start running now?”
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