An Essay regarding the Marshall & Various Matters, to Burnie

[Rance]

“You and I have become fast friends,” she said to the professor, whose rum-addled eyes leered at her with displeasure. “I trust your written words far better than my own; when I write the Standard, it would be better off used to line the bottom of an infant’s bed, or a bird’s cage.”

”Please,” the man said, pressing his forehead down into the bureau. “It would be good to have a rest from this. I did not go through years of study to be a Jerno girl’s journaler.”

”There is little time to waste, messa. I have very important business. A boy down the street, he is recovering from an unfair arrow to his chest, and you will complain that your hand is tired?”

”You make my eyes water,” he said. “Sometimes you are insufferable.”

”Have you ever met a Jerno before me,” she said.

”No. I have never met a Jerno—I have only read the works.”

”So then you should appreciate this time we spend together. We are redefining horizons, constructing a new reputation for my people, and you—“ a gloved finger prodded at his elbow, “—are the herald.”

”Do you really believe all that babble,” he said.

”All that matters is that you believe it, messa. I am just looking to have a letter written.”

And so, a fourth letter was taken, and that day, she chose to give the rock-breaker a rest. She delivered it by way of her own hand to the Meetinghouse, only after spending hours with it, rewriting the piece in her personal books, mimicking the letters, trying to better understand them.

An Essay on the Good Nature of the Marshall of Myrken & Other Matters, to be Read by the Eyes of Good Regent Burnie—

--in which Several Concerns are addressed, but that cannot be Ordered by Importance, for they are a Multitude of Equally-Heartening and Dis-Heartening Issues.

ONE: I believe I should make Mention that over the past Few Evenings, I have had the Distinct Pleasure of sharing Time with Menna Ariane Emory, the good Marshall of Myrken Wood, whose Presence is very Agreeable to me in Every Way. Of her Many Positive Qualities, her Good Humour, Inquisitiveness, Erstwhile Compassion, Composure, and Proper Constitution are the Most respondent Resplendent. It is an Honour to share Discourse with her of Poetry, Swordsmanship, and Armour. I will be making for her the Finest Uniform which Myrken has ever seen, and It will Speak of all these Qualities –- and of her Fairness, and Charm, and Patriotism.

TWO: It is a Displeasure to Admit that I was Physically Assaulted two Nights before now by a one Galacia Galasha Vrawl, Who attempted to Corral a Boy of Obvious Birth-Impairment into her Poor Wiles. Upon attempting to Intervene, I was struck through with Intense Fear, my Neck Molested, and a Favorite Garment ruined by Her. I believe she has Me confused for Another, but Nonetheless, it is my Duty to bring Attention to the Proper Authorities.

THREE: A Man of Uniform who has the most Curious Bird-Owl at His Disposal quite threatened Me recently, accusing Me of Insults that I had not spoken. I was belittled at his Whims, insulted, and even once compared to Human Faeces. It is not for Sole Concern of My Safety that I bring this Information forward, but for the Interest of the Security of Others, that They might not need to be Similarly Exposed.

I assure you, Regent, I have taken Long Looks in the Glass to be sure my Face has no Innate Qualities that may Infuriate Passers-By, but I cannot come to any Conclusions on the Matter.

FOUR: I am on the Lookout for a Loyal Supplier of Black-Indigo Cotton, and for Gauzewool and a number of Tin Buttons. Do you have any Suggestions on Where I might address these Needs.

FIVE: If I, by Correspondence, put Myself in Contact with an old Teacher of History from my homeland of Jernoah, would it be probable to have Various Copies of Texts -– Religions, Histories, Poesy, and Various Other Literatures –- shipped on your Good Credit to Myrken, so They may be placed in the Library. I find knowledge of Jernoan Culture Unfortunately Lacking in Myrken; I wish to remedy This for Curious Parties.

FIVE-BY-HALF: I move to have all Copies of Voice, Melody, and Man, a Collection of Local Poetry, taken up from Myrken and used for starting Fires, or Perhaps More Appropriately, to be Torn up into Squared Shapes and donated to the Hospital for the Efficient Cleansing of Rectal Humours. It would be a More Suitable Fate than for It to be read by Good Citizens.

Sincerely, Seamstress, Jerno, Law-Abider, and Your Faithful Servant in Myrken,

Signed,

Gloria (Glour’eya) Wynsee, Uniformess of the Marshall of Myrken

[Glenn]

Gloria,

Never I have seen someone find so much to relish in so specific a title. Were we in more fair and equitable times you would be commended for your verve and avidity.

A brief suggestion, not as one wishing to tell you how to do your job, but instead as one who knows the heart of Ariane Emory: seek her input at all stages of this juncture. She is a particular woman of particular character and it has been a very long while since she had so formal an obligation or uniform.

Galacia is a beast of mythical proportions. If you wish to vex and bewilder her, mention, in hushed tones, a conspiracy upon the horizon to lock her in an elaborate magical pink dress. Tell her that as a seamstress you hear such things. Watch her face.

Please be assured that if you ever come across someone you think to be a danger to yourself and the general Myrken populace to note all aspects of his or her character and report upon them, either to me or a nearby Constable. I will take all such information seriously, and truly, there's little harm in reporting on the activities of those around you if it is ultimately for their own good and the good of Myrken. I have no doubt about your noble intent.

For the materials in question, I would suggest inquiring towards a Kals Olwak, trader. He recently was struck down by an arrow much like other of your friends. He may still be at the Remedium. Do not mention my name to him for you will not receive a discount. Much the opposite as he is of a very grumpy disposition. Do be aware that he can read minds, so I suggest thinking of Galacia Vraal in that afformentioned pink dress to distract him during negotiations. Again, mentioning my name will do you harm, not good with him.

Finally, on the matter of books, I do think a reasonable sum may be provided for Jernoan texts and the translation of such. Histories especially. As for the others, you should speak with our Councilor for the Arts, the Hon. Stefan Berdini, to plead the case for the virtues of your homeland's artistic endeavors. The only books we burn here in Myrken, however, are ones which unlock vile demons, so there will be none of that. If you wish to loudly decry the author in the commons, I do think there are boxes one can stand on for that sort of thing.

Governor Burnie