For Woburn: about Catch the Criminal.

For Woburn: about Catch the Criminal.

Postby channe » Wed Apr 16, 2014 4:16 am

A constable arrives at the main office; he carries written testimony from a patient in the Rememdium. A copy will also be taken to the Meetinghouse for the Governor's view.

Hon. Woburn:

This is the true testimony of Agnieszka River, Chairwoman of the Myrken Wood Defense Committee, as dictated to Constable Garland.

I testify that while I was drinking at the Broken Dagger last night, the madman Catch disabled me with a Blow to the Head and then used my very own Sword to commit Attempted Murder without any provocation on my part. You may see the evidence and wounds for yourself as I am at the Rememdium. I regret my Lapse in judgment letting myself get messy in public like that, but you'd drink too if your husband died. This is not the first time he has tried to Kill me. In public. Without me taunting him or anything. There are many Witnesses.

I also testify that Catch confessed to me his rape of a young woman of my Acquaintance.

This blight, this madman, has been allowed on our streets for too long. He has now committed Two crimes with Felonious punishments out of his own Free will and on his own Desires. I charge you with the apprehension of this Criminal and his appropriate trial and punishment.

Sincerely,
A. Kaczmarek River
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Re: For Woburn: about Catch the Criminal.

Postby Cinnabar » Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:51 am

Chairwoman River,

In accordance with your instructions I have given four of my officers a month of paid convalescence leave and ordered half of the Constabulary's cells demolished. If you feel this response to be inadequate then by your leave I can extend the convalescence leave to a further dozen officers, retire three or four more men on full pensions and expand the demolition order to include the surrounding streets.

Sincerely

Edric Woburn
Chief Constable, Myrkentown Constabulary
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Re: For Woburn: about Catch the Criminal.

Postby channe » Sat Apr 19, 2014 1:07 am

Constable Woburn,

Are you saying that you are fine with a Criminal walking Free because he is just too hard to catch and keep? I'm sorry that you don't have the balls to take care of Myrken Wood in the way you have been invested to, i.e., catching criminals who rape and murder and putting them on trial for justice. What a nice example for the rest of the Criminals that infest our streets. We have a reason that we catch criminals using a civilian Constabulary and put them on trial. It is called Keeping The Peace Without Having To Put The Army On The Streets. It is useful for, you know, PEACE. However, as usual I am stuck doing everything Myself.

You know you could say something like "We'd love to help, but we feel we don't have the manpower," and I would be all, "oh, sure, let me help you with that," but no, you'd rather be a snarky face about it and kick back and relax? Come on Woburn, you're better than this.

Have fun eating crumpets or whatever it is you do up there.

A. Kaczmarek River,
Chairwoman of Defense
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Re: For Woburn: about Catch the Criminal.

Postby Cinnabar » Sat Apr 19, 2014 2:06 am

Mrs. River

I am saying that given previous incidents, the process of apprehending, imprisoning and punishing Catch poses a very real threat to the lives of my officers, and to the lives and property of any civilians unfortunate enough to be nearby at the time such an attempt is made. To persist in such efforts would very much go against our duty to maintain the Peace, and as such I must respectfully refuse your instruction.

It is my understanding from reading the relevant files that Catch does not pose a danger unless provoked. Your admitted inebriation at the time and your history of intemperate and wildly erratic behaviour (even when sober) make it extremely difficult to believe that you offered Catch no such provocation prior to his assault. This in turn suggets that your testimony is rife with either drunken misrecollections or deliberate falsehoods. That my officer's report included the reek of strong liquor, combined with your past confrontations with the accused, gives me reason to believe that it is some mixture of the two.

If you can conjure forth Catch's other alleged victim to make a statement then we will take that under consideration, but as it stands there is little reason to take your word over that of the accused.

Crumpets and similar dainties were more favoured by those within Rhaena Olwak's regime, as I am sure you well recall from your time as Vice-Governor.

Please see to it that future letters to this office are countersigned by your fellow Committee members. The winter has been challenging for public order with scarcely enough bread to go round, and as you can imagine I and my officers are extremely busy.

Sincerely

Edric Woburn
Chief Constable, Myrkentown Constabulary
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Re: For Woburn: about Catch the Criminal.

Postby channe » Sat Apr 19, 2014 3:57 am

Woburn,

You are not a judge. You are a constable. You're making all of these funny little inferences based on what you heard and not on what actually happened. You're like one of the fish-wives at the market, all gossip and no facts. I guess there are just some things a lady has to do herself because the men put on their scaredy pants this morning.

You sir are a butthead.

Sincerely,
A. Kaczmarek River
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