Finn,
To begin, we must deal with an inconvenience. No. That "an" is misplaced. We must deal with inconvenience itself. The timing of this is frustrating for there is so much to cover, so much to discuss. I fear, however, that this will be our normal in a year's time. You may much prefer it. Action. Motion. Trouble. We cannot even start with pleasantries. Also, having introduced this letter so (and to introduce it any other way would be bad faith, and we avoid that, you and I, do we not?), were I to start with what I would prefer to write about (no matter how much you profess to find worth in my real, honest preferences), you would simply skip ahead.
I'll tell you, then, but do promise to read the rest and reply at length. There is only so much we can control of this situation in the immediate. Let us focus on it, but focus as well on those things that we might be able to more directly influence, namely our own interactions.
As promised (did we?), the raven (henceforth Benedict, his choosing upon my urging -- it helps in conversation, damn you and your people's anti-conversational nature of showing above all) and I searched for your missing satchel. What we found was alarming. Another raven was spotted in the vicinity. Benedict assures me that it would have to be acting on quite specific instruction and that leads to both a backwards looking concern (that you are targeted even here) and a forward looking concern (that now that I am a known entity, I will be targeted as well). You should act with slightly more care. I shall do the same. This seems as good a reason as any for me to more swiftly begin to inoculate myself as we discussed. I will stay true to my word and not begin to do this until we correspond further on the matter. It does seem an immediate risk given certain admitted personal deficiencies (we agree that I have them though not necessarily what they are), however. I will be glad to discuss any of this further.
There, done. Read on.
Is there any point in even telling you how I am? Will you trust me or only Benedict in this? You sent him in woefully uninformed. It felt, through both glamourie and more conventional (a better word than either mundane or honest for multiple reasons) interaction, as if we spent days, weeks even, together. Did it feel that way to you as well? I apologize for not sooner realizing how being in the city affected you. We could have met outside if I could have known. I thrive in such an environment. Not all humans do so do not make sweeping comment. Would some of your people thrive here, do you think? Is it just the iron then? Some of my people would likely do well in your lands, though I fear to say that I am likely not one of them.
Despite bounds being overstepped, by both of us though one more than the other, I think it was a fruitful visit. Names were returned. Common ground was found. We have a path moving forward, one that suits both of us and both of our people. We have some sense of what we are to one another. Perhaps we have some sense of who we are to one another as well. I think we are as pleased as we are ultimately horrified, and really, that's not a bad balance all things considered.
Benedict will say I am not well, that you inexorably changed me. Inefficiently as well, perhaps? I hope this letter shows you that even a few days later, I am, to a degree, unveiled. Much of this is about what I learned, what I saw of myself in the midst of your glamour. Much of it is the intersection of the logical loosening that would follow and what you may have done. I will not contest that last bit (in fact I introduced it) but I will downplay it's importance relative to the knowledge that I can feel without harming and that I am sane and whole.
That does not mean it does not hurt. That does not mean that it will not hurt in the days to come, for I have carried much pain at a distance, just out of my reach, with joy and other long-withered but bright burning things. This process, I hope will be a healthy one.
I refuse to thank you for violation though. I will also not thank you for simply being yourself, though I will let you know that I appreciate it. Appreciation and gratitude are not the same thing.
Glenn