Hereafter

Hereafter

Postby Glenn » Thu Jan 31, 2019 4:24 am

Ainrid,

I begin with an apology. It is not rare that I apologize. It is rare, however, that I apologize to begin. Having traversed in dreams myself, I know firsthand the limitations of communication through the medium. I would stress that this is far more an issue for my people than yours. You and yours are far better versed with symbolic flourishes and gestures than we are. You can project meaning in ways we cannot. Thus, you develop the means to receive and understand that meaning with far greater speed and skill. For us, it often takes ink and paper, deliberation and debate. Certain symbols can be examined for years, which may not be remarkable for you, but for us it is a great undertaking indeed.

(And yes, at this point you begin to wonder when the apology at the beginning will actually begin).

I am more acquainted than some of my fellows (brethren? people?) in these matters, but I am but human, after all. So much of my attention and focus was given to maintaining walls that are not at all natural to my kind, walls that could only be breached from the inside, as you well demonstrated. As such, my control over myself and my behavior was lacking and impolite. Furthermore, and this is a very recent admission that I am more loathe to make than I can quickly express to you, I have developed a tendency to act as She might (a pause to gather the right word: prefer is not it - "be titillated by' has connotations that I do not at all mean. Whatever we are or are not - and you would claim we are nothing at all - it is certainly not that. - I think you might get the idea, however, and I shall simply move on) - this is a weakness on my part; in many ways I am the adult in this situation and I must act as such. I managed to do so for quite a while, certainly until other walls and barricades I had erected were destroyed in a fit of her pique. This experience has reminded me of their importance and of the benefits of distance, though I will admit that I may be too deeply afflicted (through no ill intent of hers) that I will not be able to hold that line as thoroughly as I would like.

I apologize for my outburst. Assuming that was prophecy, I shall also assume you do not get to decide what truth you foresee, though you likely do choose which future you can speak of and which you withhold.

I do not have a healthy relationship with fate. I will apologize for this as well, but only, because unlikely that which I spoke of in paragraphs prior, I have no ability nor in truth any desire to rectify this. I spoke of a possibility in her ultimate victory and how it might end me. Accepting the confines of fate would destroy all that makes me who I am far more thoroughly.

Finally, I cannot have things both ways. I cannot both express that I want nothing and seek nothing and desire nothing and ask for nothing and claim nothing, while at the same time would hold you to your promise that I had earned the boon of questions answered and curiosities sated. I would free you from that allowance but would still ask any number of things about you and your people both because I honestly wish to know. I would understand if you would deny me such answers now, however.

Glenn
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Re: Hereafter

Postby Niabh » Sat Feb 02, 2019 8:55 am

By now, Glenn doubtless knew "his" (or better, "their") raven well enough to recognize a substitute. This newcomer stood taller and was narrower through the chest, lacking Benedict's heavy neck-ruffles. More significantly, she was silent. She landed as if there were no solid body beneath the blackness, a feathery bubble, and flashed him a glimpse of the underside of her wings: cobalt-blue and white.


You begin with excuse. You carry on with excuse. These excuse is not worthy to be addressed. What little apology you offer is not enough to pardon poor manners.

You are outside the concern of this court. Ever it is the queen's favor alone that spares you. Transgression against the lady will be taken against you in kind. Control or its lack will not be considered.

A boon earned cannot undone by later transgression. Each incident are separate. You are yet owed your answers. We may not deny you them. Ask nothing you would not know. Accept what you are give.
Anything can be magic if you're gullible enough.
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Re: Hereafter

Postby Glenn » Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:04 am

There was no attempt to bribe the raven. This wasn't just because he did not wish to betray Benedict. If there was something Burnie hated, it was going through the same process again. Oh, it was scientific, successful repetition. He simply couldn't manage it. It made it difficult to make new friends (one of his many difficulties). It was a distinct issue with Gloria Wynsee. With Finn, it had been over come through a certain sort of chicanery. "I know you can talk." It was all he said, but there was something demonstrative in the tone. He knew, and yet the bird was just going to perch there and stare. "If I didn't know, there'd be no harm to it. Since I know though, it's just rude."

Still, that was all.

Instead, he wrote.

Ainrid,

I do not wish to be part of your court. A wish, I think, is a distinct thing. A wish implies some sort of action. You make a wish. You have a wish. You wish upon a star or in a well or with clover in hand. You hold a wish secret and quiet within your heart. A want is instinctual. A wish is something more. I do not wish to be part of your court. Occasionally, I want it, but that is fleeting and foolish. It says far more about where I am and what I have lost and what resolve I might have left than anything about my place or yours. There I would be blind and mute. I should be outside the court's concern.

This court. Are you the court? Are you your role or something more? Did you say that Ainrid was a title? Bard is a title. You've left me scattered. I have systems to keep track all of this and they are currently askew. I will tidy them in time. I will recover. Be assured of that. See it in your tea leaves or entrails (this is not literal) or don't. This is ill timed. She always strikes, when she strikes, at this point in the winter. I think it is when she is most bored, but I don't have a sense of seasons underground. I give you no credit for this, but I think what you did serves as a protection against what I received. I cannot be taken for I am already lost. That sort of thing. By the time I recover in full, I should be past the point of temptation. More maybe she'll have taken it from me. He'll give me up after all.

I am interested in you more so than the court. Are you born into your position? Your abilities? Do your abilities force you into your role? Do you have choice in the matter? Do you believe in choice in the first place? So, the first, born or learned. The second, if born, do you have a choice. If learned, why did you choose it?

Let us begin there. I can manage little currently.

Please ask me a question in return. It will help.

Glenn
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