by Glenn » Wed Mar 06, 2019 2:14 am
He dreamed now. This might be that. His dreams lately did not involve knocking Genevieves. On the other hand, hadn't he read from a letter (hers or Gloria's, hard to say currently) that she'd been meddling with such. This might be a dream. A bleary eye, attached to an unkempt head, attached, cheek to wood, to his writing desk, scanned around his room. It was not an empty white space. This was not a dream.
More words then. It's Genevieve. He wasn't completely dense. Genny. That's what they called her. Genny Darden? No, that was Jinni. Jinni Darden. Probably consumed by now. Probably gave some giant beast indigestion. It's amazing how these things just came to you. Genny Tolleson. That must be why he called her Genevieve and not Genny, to create separation between her and Jinni. He hadn't been conscious of that before. How many blind spots could any man have? You couldn't examine every decision. It'd drive you mad.
Somewhere in there, he blurted out a sharp laugh.
Alright then; not a dream. Maybe a hallucination? The laugh had been through closed lips but he moved his jaw now, trying to unstick it to the table. Had he been asleep? (He was not currently asleep, because he had decided he was not dreaming, yet he was still alert). The letter, the first glamoured letter, from his fae correspondent, was beside him. It was not hard not to look down at it, despite what she might think, what Benedict probably thought as well, what Gloria would have thought if she knew any of this. Lips turned to a slight scowl as he tried to recenter himself, to slowly sit up the rest of the way. Where was he?
A hallucination. (Lay out the facts, then.) Genevieve had given no indication in her last letter that she was coming. He gave her no invitation. In this weather, the travel to Razasan would have been difficult. (Do the math, though). Given her ingenuity and talents and some meager enough means, she could have made the trip in the time since her last letter. Since his last letter? Just. She's also been in correspondence with Gloria. Who knows what she heard there? Was she impulsive, Genevieve Tolleson? Somewhat. She'd been so, learned better, and grown back into it. Myrken. Probably his fault. So this was at least possible.
Was it likely? More or less likely than a hallucination. (The other facts, man). He had seen flashes of what Finn had showed him in the aftermath of looking at the letter, each and every time. It lasted for various lengths of time, but he was absolutely sure one of two things was happening. Either it was happening for slightly less time every day or he was experiencing it even when not encountering the stimulus of the letter. So, either it was getting better gradually or it was getting far, far worse. There were other factors, most primarily what the Bard had done to him, which was exactly why he had to resolve this as quickly as possible. One could only handle one affliction at a time and that was, despite evidence, a far more severe one. (What else?) He had a certain level of anxiety towards Genevieve given what he'd learned about her. His protections, holding back that moment, and other associated feelings, were now shattered, perhaps pushing it to the forefront? Her being a hallucination was possible, and would likely indicate that things were getting far worse. (The verdict then?)
It was equally likely that she was actually there as it was that she was a hallucination. Further pondering would not achieve an answer.
That had been about ten seconds in the addled mind of Glenn Burnie, including both pulling his face off the table and starting to sit up. "Genevieve," his voice was slightly hoarse. When had he last spoken to someone? When had the last letter arrived? Just how many days had he been at this? When had he last looked at the letter? He knew the range of his own coherence. It wasn't about tracking the effect of the glamourie but the aftereffect, of gauging how it felt at various times after. An hour? Perhaps about an hour, with the newest levels given what he was attempting and the idea that it might be succeeding. He needed another quarter hour at least to be himself again, all other mitigating factors (of which there were many) notwithstanding.
In short, none of this was good. Either she was a hallucination and he'd damaged himself further or she was real and ... well, best to just go with it then, thought the person who was currently quite (but perhaps not completely) uninhibited.
"Genevieve," He repeated, loudly enough to be heard from across the room, even through the door. "On the assumption that you're actually here and that this isn't some sort of hallucination or trick," (tricks? What sort. Not another gambit by Sarayn: she wouldn't be alert enough to even know who Genevieve was; the ghast within his mind would, of course, but that would put them back to hallucination; perhaps if one of his letters had been captured, an enemy raven might be mimicking the voice? That felt unlikely as well), "I think we ought to set up some ground rules before I open the door. Does that seem amenable?"