by Carnath-Emory » Fri Apr 27, 2007 7:57 am
What illuminates the woman's battered features, as she eases back at last into her seat, is neither relief nor disappointment, but some very strange blend of both. Evidently it proves less bitter than the tea she drinks, though, for at a sip of that there comes a very wry face indeed...
"There is always the means to act on one's Belief, I think. If only since a person will -- ah! As you say, yes? So that even a child whose heart is filled with it, all of his life will be sha --
"Mm. When there are pardons set in my hand, Cinnabar, I shall tell you such a tale of Belief, of how it will change a boy. But not of hearts, for I have ever heeded mine very little, and while I am told this is a flaw... Hah. I find that to do differently leads me far further astray." There's a rueful edge to her laughter, an ironic note to the tilt of her mug.
But there come questions now, the sort which best fascinate the swordswoman's fledgling mind, and a description of circumstances which strike a disarmingly familiar chord. Wanting for wine, she takes tea instead, for the acerbic tang of it inspires clarity.
"And if it guides me false? This nameless thing, what difference between that and these cultists? Who heed their faceless god, who do such things in his name for that he wishes it, and they reckon him beyond fault. Better to do as you have, perhaps: to heed my heart and mind, and reckon later with such awkward things as Belief. It has served you well this far, yes? Ser Constable," she grins, despite herself, despite the gravity of such talk. "I would hope to do as well.
"But I..."
And here Ariane lapses into silence: there is an uncertain gaze fixed upon the man, and there are fingertips drawn across the rim of her mug, and there is nothing else at all. But while Cinnabar might have feared it would stretch into actual minutes, there comes eventually a shake of the head to dispell the reverie, and quietly, now:
"For most of my life, there has not been this choice. You see? There has been only a single direction, and I do as well with it as I'm able, mn? But now it is all so different, and these choices, there are so many of them, and I...
"I wonder this too, how to choose. Each day, it seems that I find ways that do... not work."